“5 Ways to Prevent Losing Yourself to Motherhood”, “Love Yourself Enough Not to Lose Yourself in Motherhood”, and “How Women Lose Themselves in Motherhood”; one quick Google search pulls hundreds of articles on how to not lose yourself to “mommyhood”. A glimpse into a dozen of them reveals a similar concern about how it is easy to lose who you are in order to meet the demands of your family. The feeling that the limited access or time for the activities and hobbies you took part in pre-baby have stripped you of… you.
This is where my internal struggle begins because I love my role as wife and mother and I do feel that, outside of Christ Follower, those are my most beloved titles. I am in complete agreement that time management takes on new competition and my own hobbies may have to take a back seat for some time (i.e. it has taken 7 days to write this one blog post!); but it’s when I identify myself by those things (“my” time, “my” hobbies, “my” desires) that I feel I’ve lost sight of my true identity. My true identity, complete dependency and trust are in Christ. We were created to live in God’s sacred space here on earth and to bring Him glory.
“Ascribe to the Lord, all you families of nations, ascribe to the Lord glory and strength. Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name; bring an offering and come before him. Worship the Lord in the splendor of his holiness.”
- 1 Chronicles 16:28-29
The moments when I get lost in trying to find “me” (meaning that I become so focused on taking care of myself first that I put God, my husband and children last) are some of the moments when I am least like my Savior and most frustrated in others and myself. Instead, I want to be so lost in God that my children and my husband must seek Him in order to find me; many have probably heard a very similar version of that quote. When I have the perspective that, “For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21) is when I am most satisfied. My focus changes from what will make me happiest to what will bring God the most glory? And in this season of my life, that is my role as wife and mother, one of the greatest opportunities I have to put Christ on display is in my own home. It means setting myself aside for the benefit of my husband and son. It isn’t without its struggles but God answers, He sees me and He hears me, ALWAYS. God has brought me such immense joy in my role as wife and mommy that “losing myself” to motherhood has become an attitude that I cherish and love. What an incredible opportunity to become more selfless for the sake of His Kingdom, through my husband and son.
“A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
…She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
…She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
…Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”
-Proverbs 31: 10-12, 17, 25-26, 30-31