At 5 am we woke up and called the hospital, this was the day. The nurse on the phone advised us to arrive at 7 am; they would have a room ready and would begin my Pitocin drip shortly after our arrival. We hugged our dogs and stepped into the dark and still of early morning. With a packed car we began driving down the road in silence. That quietness was short lived as I burst into a noisy cry a half-mile down the road; my overwhelming fears and incredible excitement hit me at the same time. This was the day we would meet our son. The baby I dreamed of since I was a little girl, the sweet boy I’d been carefully planning for over the past 25 weeks, the child whose soul I prayed for and the heart of my heart. I was so scared and so happy.
With intake paperwork completed and a couple Cheez Its consumed, the IV was hooked up and the Pitocin drip started. For three hours we shared our final moments together as only husband and wife, not quite yet mom and dad (in the fullest sense of those titles). As he always is, my husband was kind and attentive, concerned and caring, loving and helpful. Oh how lucky I am to be his wife and how fortunate our son is to have him as his dad. With increasing contractions these sweet moments were becoming background noise to the all-consuming intensity of our baby boy preparing for his arrival. The hours to come are what I practiced for. I did not practice the way most do (although maybe I should have!) instead I spent weeks reading, re-reading, memorizing and hiding a piece of scripture in my heart.
With intake paperwork completed and a couple Cheez Its consumed, the IV was hooked up and the Pitocin drip started. For three hours we shared our final moments together as only husband and wife, not quite yet mom and dad (in the fullest sense of those titles). As he always is, my husband was kind and attentive, concerned and caring, loving and helpful. Oh how lucky I am to be his wife and how fortunate our son is to have him as his dad. With increasing contractions these sweet moments were becoming background noise to the all-consuming intensity of our baby boy preparing for his arrival. The hours to come are what I practiced for. I did not practice the way most do (although maybe I should have!) instead I spent weeks reading, re-reading, memorizing and hiding a piece of scripture in my heart.
God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
Isaiah 46:1-6
Alongside this treasured piece of scripture stored in my heart, I listened to the song “Never Once” by Fellowship Bible Church on repeat. Every time a contraction intensified I cranked the volume and was filled with an abundant peace and strength. This stored scripture and repetitive reminder that “never once will we ever walk alone” was what filled my heart and mind then and is what I remember most when I reflect on the worst moments of labor. What a blessing it is to reflect on labor and to so clearly see His faithfulness from beginning to end.
At 4:13 pm, after 5 hours of labor, our sweet son Samuel James was born. Those first moments were not exactly as I imagined them to be but without a doubt, I knew I was truly staring at, “all God’s grace in one tiny face”. I finally understood and felt the weight of those sweet nursery room signs I had seen repeatedly. The excited but exhausted, so in love but still a little unsure, uncomfortable but way more comfortable than before cloud had settled in. The boy I had dreamed of, prayed for and loved before he even was … was here. The magnitude of just how much I loved this sweet baby boy had yet to hit me and I had no idea just how consuming it would be!
At 4:13 pm, after 5 hours of labor, our sweet son Samuel James was born. Those first moments were not exactly as I imagined them to be but without a doubt, I knew I was truly staring at, “all God’s grace in one tiny face”. I finally understood and felt the weight of those sweet nursery room signs I had seen repeatedly. The excited but exhausted, so in love but still a little unsure, uncomfortable but way more comfortable than before cloud had settled in. The boy I had dreamed of, prayed for and loved before he even was … was here. The magnitude of just how much I loved this sweet baby boy had yet to hit me and I had no idea just how consuming it would be!